12 Rules for Mobsters: Warren Buffett Edition
Unauthorized. Unhedged. A Parody
Book Description:
12 Rules for Mobsters: Warren Buffett Edition
Unauthorized. Unhedged. A Parody.
What if the Oracle of Omaha ran a crime family of compounding? This deadpan, mafia-noir satire reframes Buffett-style discipline as a quiet don’s playbook—where patience is muscle, silence is power, and beige is armor. It’s entertainment, not investment advice.
Step into the safehouse. Inside a plain Midwestern office that hums like a vault, boredom becomes a weapon and compounding does the work. You’ll meet a soft-spoken boss who buys permanence while rivals burn out on flash.
Inside the book:
12 Rules—from “Compounding Interest Is the Real Godfather” to “Be the Quietest Man in the Room—with the Loudest Ledger,” each with a sharp Self-Check.
Charlie’s Notes—cigar-dry one-liners that cut through noise.
10 Commandments of Silent Wealth—the code for building empires without raising your voice.
30-Day Field Manual—simple daily reps to live the rules.
The Oracle’s Beige Bug-Out Bag—essentials for calmly outlasting chaos.
Retirement Hit List—a fictional dossier that turns “boring” into a contact sport.
The last page hits different. A hushed epilogue plants four words in the ledger: “Bet on La Voz.”
Perfect for fans of sharp parody, mafia-noir vibes, and behavioral finance with teeth.
Legal Note: This is a work of parody and satire. It is not authorized, endorsed, or associated with Warren E. Buffett or Berkshire Hathaway. Not investment advice.
FAQ’s
(frequently asked questions)
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A: As serious as a guy explaining tax evasion over espresso. Meaning: It’s got real wisdom, but it’s wrapped in satire, dark humor, and just enough questionable ethics to keep things interesting.
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A: No. But it might teach you how to avoid getting screwed over—by bosses, bad deals, and life itself. Which is kind of the same thing.
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A: If you have to ask, probably. But if you can handle a little sarcasm and tough love, you’ll be fine.
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A: Then you have terrible taste. Or you can return it. But honestly, I’d rather you keep it and just use it as an expensive coaster.
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A:
People who think self-help books are full of sh*t.
People who appreciate blunt, no-BS advice.
People who enjoy a good laugh while secretly learning something useful.
If that sounds like you, congratulations—you just found your new favorite book.
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A:
People who cry when they get constructive criticism.
People who take life too seriously.
People who still believe in “manifesting” instead of actually doing things.
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A: That depends—are you actually going to apply the lessons, or just read it and go back to making terrible decisions?
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A: Absolutely. It’s the perfect way to say: “Hey, I love you, but you could really use some street smarts.”
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A: You probably shouldn’t. But trust the book. It’s got better judgment than both of us.