12 Rules for Mobsters: Joe Rogan Edition
Unauthorized. Unfiltered. A Parody
Book Description:
12 Rules for Mobsters: Joe Rogan Edition
Unauthorized. Unfiltered. A Parody.
You don’t want a guru. You want a field guide that holds up under pressure—the kind you feel rolling on the mats, making hard calls at work, or staring down a blackout.
This book hands you 12 rules (plus bonuses) that make you sharper without the sermon. You’ll tap faster before pride snaps something, speak clearly like the power’s already out, and get useful when the grid—and the group chat—go quiet. Every rule ends with a fast self-check so you stop collecting quotes and start getting competent.
You’re the reader who:
values free speech over safe optics and can admit “I might be wrong.”
thinks sparring beats posturing and humility is earned under pressure.
wants to be useful when systems fail—not just opinionated online.
is done with motivational fog and ready for practice, not pedestals.
laughs hard, thinks harder, and loves a little weird world-building.
What you’ll walk away with:
Simple mental models for pressure, curiosity, and controlled chaos you can apply today.
A “speak like the power’s out” ethic that travels from the gym to the boardroom.
Honest self-checks that keep you improving instead of pretending.
The “LOST TAPES”: fictional podcast transcripts that roast fluff and reward real competence—because learning works better when you’re laughing.
Inside you’ll hit rules on microdosing struggle, fighting so you don’t fake tough, protecting your psyche from the algorithm, being useful at the end of the world, and moving/eating like a predator. You’ll also find a few oddities (a breathwork hitman, a monk with a message, and a beige-walled epilogue that tees up the next caper).
If you’re craving clarity, capability, and a grin while you get both—open the book.
Parody Notice: Not endorsed by Joe Rogan. It’s a satirical, unauthorized riff designed to entertain, challenge, and sharpen.
FAQ’s
(frequently asked questions)
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A: As serious as a guy explaining tax evasion over espresso. Meaning: It’s got real wisdom, but it’s wrapped in satire, dark humor, and just enough questionable ethics to keep things interesting.
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A: No. But it might teach you how to avoid getting screwed over—by bosses, bad deals, and life itself. Which is kind of the same thing.
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A: If you have to ask, probably. But if you can handle a little sarcasm and tough love, you’ll be fine.
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A: Then you have terrible taste. Or you can return it. But honestly, I’d rather you keep it and just use it as an expensive coaster.
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A:
People who think self-help books are full of sh*t.
People who appreciate blunt, no-BS advice.
People who enjoy a good laugh while secretly learning something useful.
If that sounds like you, congratulations—you just found your new favorite book.
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A:
People who cry when they get constructive criticism.
People who take life too seriously.
People who still believe in “manifesting” instead of actually doing things.
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A: That depends—are you actually going to apply the lessons, or just read it and go back to making terrible decisions?
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A: Absolutely. It’s the perfect way to say: “Hey, I love you, but you could really use some street smarts.”
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A: You probably shouldn’t. But trust the book. It’s got better judgment than both of us.